Spirit starved?

Good Thursday morning, my friends.

Yesterday's post, "The Holy Spirit - Forgotten God?", obviously struck a chord with a number of you.  Here are some of the replies I received:

You asked us for our thoughts, well here's how I feel; firstly, I couldn't agree more with what he has written. It is quite a coincidence that you've raised this issue today - just this morning as I was heading out the door I was thinking that I haven't felt God's spirit (presence) in a real and deep way for a long, long time - years in fact! I am faithful in my devotions / quiet time and take my walk with God seriously, but still feel a big lack inside. I want to FEEL God. I want to KNOW He's there because I can feel Him - not just know it by faith. I fully realize that we (Christians) are to walk by faith - I'm cool with that! But, when it is all faith, all the time, I can't help but feel discouraged and have a real nagging sense that the God I read about is so much different than the God I personally experience. It's hard to feel excited about a God that doesn't excite me! I have a gut twisting pang sometimes when I truly reflect upon how different I would have to be in order for God to have the freedom to "inhabit" me the way He would like to. Am I willing to be radically different in order to give God the access to me that is required to have His spirit "live" in me like I would like? If I'm truly honest, the answer currently is NO. I am where I am because I am really not willing to be that different. You can't have the world and the spirit of God at the same time! My longing (and initial strivings at this point) are to be truly different so that I will be available and open to God so that His spirit can freely inhabit me. I have to let go of my fear of being different - a "nut case"!

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What I find scary is the thought that I might "live the remainder of my life where I am right now, stagnating at this point". I am with Chan. I want more. I know there's more and I'm tired of just talking about God. The books, the studies, the groups, they are all good. But there is something missing. My church is good and getting better. But there is something missing. I haven't been able to put my finger on it but maybe Francis Chan just has. He gives words to what I know. 

My husband just came back from a mission trip to Guatemala. For the whole year or more of the planning he didn't know why he was going. He didn't think he was the right person because he wasn't really spiritual like the rest. He struggled with just the very basics of God. But he felt like he was suppose to go and was very confused by that. But he went and he changed. Now we pray together every day (God never ceases to shock me!). It is a complete and utter change. He's talked about wanting to go back. And so we've talked about what the difference was between the faith there and the faith here. And the thing that came out and the thing that I now pray for and our hearts beg for is Immersion. I want to be immersed in His Grace, His Presence. On a mission trip everything revolves around what God is doing. The people within the ministry, the children in the schools, all focus on God completely in every thing they do. The kids grow up in complete God-immersion. Many parents come to know Him because of it. Why? Because He attracts with purity, truth, justice, love, faithfulness, joy. He changes people. He changes everything. Why can I not have Him here? I want complete immersion but I too feel a twinge of fear of "freak-dom" and try to set it aside because I want to go and feel that Presence.

Many in our small group are feeling the same and trying to give voice to it. We talk of feeling something changing, being at a crossroads, wanting more. We are not satisfied with what we've come to know as religion or spirituality. God has done SO much for me and I have been close to Him. Close enough to know I want to live that way and not lose it ever again. I need to learn Spirit-Immersion. Your post has turned on a light for me. It gave voice to the missing link. Maybe this is it. May the lost be found. 

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For the last couple of months, I have had very strong feelings during my morning prayer and study sessions about a new revival coming.  A fresh moving of the Spirit in the body of Christ.  I, myself, am feeling Spirit starved.  I long and thirst for a greater filling of the Spirit.  I, too, long for more and feel that something is greatly lacking in our churches.  But I truly feel God is preparing me and many others for the new awakening that is coming.  I have been praying Jesus' prayer that we become one in Him, as He is one with the Father.  That we will become a great army that will march across this land and win back for Jesus what satan has stolen from us.  Namely, our children, our loved ones, and our friends.  We will face much persecution, but Jesus will lead us and He will win.

"I have a real nagging sense that the God I read about is so much different than the God I personally experience. It's hard to feel excited about a God that doesn't excite me!"

"I have to let go of my fear of being different - a 'nut case'!"

"I want complete immersion but I too feel a twinge of fear of 'freak-dom' "

"I, myself, am feeling Spirit starved."

Can you relate?  I sure can.  

Have we been deluded into believing that there is something "more"?  That there is a life "filled with the spirit" that is very different than what we are now experiencing? I don't think it is a delusion, I think it is reality, and like the last commenter above, I believe it is coming.  But, as the John Waller song that I use for a prayer today says: "While I'm waiting, I will serve You. While I'm waiting, I will worship."

Grace and peace be yours in abundance,

Bruce

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Takeing every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Bruce MacPherson  macpherson@celtic.ca / Blog: The Celtic Christian / Home: 613.489.4174 Cell: 613.720.0821 You are receiving this email because you have requested it or I felt you would be interested in this material. If you would like to be removed from this email list, please do not hesitate to contact me at the above email address.  Likewise, if you know of someone else who you believe would appreciate receiving these messages, please let me know.