This may rankle a few feathers, but I need to ask this: have our teen girls and young women in the church generally (or completely) lost a sense of modesty? Have we as a church chosen to ignore this? Both of my kids are in a high school youth group and when I drop them off at the church I just shake my head as I look around. Or rather, try not to. And it's not just at youth group - even at Sunday morning services I find the apparel is frequently challenging to moral standards.
Wow, reading that makes me sound old, prudish, and puritanical. I think that's probably because that is what our society labels anyone who draws attention to this issue.
I don't believe that these women know or understand the visual stimulation that men receive when they see them dress this way. Like it or not, men and women are different. And one of the differences is the way we receive stimulation. Men are VERY visual. If we want any hope of purity in our young people (and not-so-young) I believe that we as the Church need to address this issue, beginning in our own families.
If you have concerns about this issue, want to comment on it, or completely disagree with me, I would love to hear from you. Better yet, I would prefer you post your message on the blog where we can perhaps have a god-honouring discussion about this.
Ephesians 5:3-4
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
1 Timothy 2:9
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes
Grace and peace be yours in abundance,
Bruce
Jesus, we know that Satan is a thief who "comes only to steal and kill and destroy" and millions fall victim to his enticements.
You created us to have an emotional desire for physical and sexual intimacy and in Your perfect plan it is to be fulfilled in a marriage covenant.
Knowing our inclination to sin, help us to carefully lay boundary lines where we are not feeding lust but are eliminating this destructive force in our lives.
We desire purity and holiness as we daily pursue Your righteousness.
Forgive us where we have resented, ignored, or disobeyed Your truths in this area of our lives.
In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
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I couldn;t agree more. I have a 15 year old and the things that I see worn..are truly the low end of morality. All we can do is try to teach them, but as we all know, they do as they wish in most cases...we just hope the years of showing the way helps in their judgement.
ReplyDeleteThis is how the world is...stand apart and do our best....
I agree completely. I so appreciate that my kids elementary school brought in a dress code policy a few years ago thanks to a new principal. The kids thought it atrocious and even some parents gave opposition at the time but now no one bats an eye. No bra straps. Length requirements for skirts. No foul language or symbols on t-shirts. Recently, my now teenage daughter begged me to let her go to the Jr. high dances in town which I vehemently opposed to(having experienced these before with my older children and being completely disgusted) but finally relented on the condition that I go as a chaperone and if I saw inappropriate dressing and behavior, we were outta there. Imagine my astonishment and pleasant surprise to find that they had brought in a strict dress code and security to the dances. And enforced it! Girls who came and took off sweaters to expose more skin than was appropriate were given sports jerseys to put on. I was/am impressed. But to have the guts to bring such measures in requires someone to stand up and say "this matters and this is not appropriate".
ReplyDeleteWe have been so scared to seem prudish and old that we let children, and in some cases provided and encouraged them, to look enticing in an inappropriate way. You are right, men and women are very different and I think the problem is two-fold and somewhat contradictory - 1. Girls feel powerful when they can somehow affect a man, regardless of age and without further intent or thought (and there usually is not an ounce of intent in the dressing other than to get a look which affirms they can get attention), and 2. Girls have no idea of what that power does to a man, because it is really the power of the enemy at work. So realizing this, understand that there can still be a true innocence in them and don't judge them as (to use an OLD phrase) "loose" or "easy".
We all like to be affirmed in many ways and for many girls, I would even say most, being affirmed as "pretty" or "at least as pretty as the other girls" is quite important. You don't want to be ignored. You don't want to be looked past to see the girl behind you.
Best thing we can do is put dress codes in place, teach our own children what is appropriate or not and explain to the best of our ability why, even though they may not understand or agree. And then affirm them about who they are and how special they are.