A few years ago I signed up for Facebook, and about three weeks later I closed my account. Actually, it took about 3 weeks of nagging before they would actually delete my account - they do not like to do that. There were a couple of reasons I wanted out - one was for privacy concerns, but the other less-tangible reason was that I just felt this was not a place I wanted to be.
Today I received the following article. It is addressed to men, to fathers, but I think it applies to all of us. Don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying that Facebook is "evil" or anything like that - I just want you to be aware of the dangers it (and other so-called social networking sites) may pose in your life.
Feel free to let me know if you agree or disagree - I can take it!
Have a great day,
Bruce
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: The Familyman <familyman@bnin.net>
Date: 8 April 2010 11:25
Subject: Familyman Weekly - Riding Facebook Canyon
To: macpherson@celtic.ca
From: The Familyman <familyman@bnin.net>
Date: 8 April 2010 11:25
Subject: Familyman Weekly - Riding Facebook Canyon
To: macpherson@celtic.ca
Hey Dad,
I got a letter last week from a fellow dad. He shared how he made a Facebook mistake. It seems an old flame contacted him after the death of his father. He responded innocently a couple of times and then his wife stumbled upon ‘her’ Facebook message and was devastated.
His initial letter confirmed what I have been feeling for a while now. Ever since being introduced to Facebook, I've had a growing concern about the dangers lurking in the Facebook waters. From the moment I was persuaded to become a member, I saw the dangers of reconnecting with old friends from a simpler, happier time. I noticed pictures of innocent, Facebook teens that I knew posting alluring photos of themselves. I think they meant it in fun...but I thought then as I do now...they're wading into dangerous waters.
Then I started hearing reports of teens that ran off with older teens and husbands and wives who left their spouses and families for people whom they met or re-connected with on Facebook.
The dad who wrote me may not have realized it at the time, but he was headed towards the rocks. Praise God that his wife interrupted the ‘innocent’ emails.
How many more innocent stories of shipwrecked marriages and families do we need to hear before we say, “Maybe all this fun stuff isn't worth the price of admission?” Here's the clincher. I'm not just talking about our children and wives on Facebook; I'm talking about YOU, Dad. I would just about bet if you ‘do Facebook’ that you've had a contact with someone that you felt a bit awkward about, yet also felt a little rush like rafting down the canyon. That awkwardness was God warning you that you were wading into deep, dangerous waters.
I know that there are some reading this who by next year will have done something that will alter their lives forever in this ‘fun' place to meet people. I don’t want that to be you, Dad.
So if you need to pull your raft out of Facebook Canyon, DO IT! If you need to gather your wife and children and say, "Things are going to change”, Do IT! Dad, if you value your marriage and family, then you may need to take the raft by the horns and DO IT!!!!!
After all…
You 'da dad,
DISAGREE--Facebook is just a tool, just like every other tool we have at our disposal! We could put almost anything out here _______ (fill in the blank) as a danger. I choose to connect with people on facebook and it has actually allowed me to connect in ways that would not be possible in other ways. Social Media is not going away! So let's model the proper ways to use the tools at our disposal.
ReplyDeleteSome people used to think that the Bible in the hands of ALL people would be dangerous! ; )
I, too, was leery of joining Facebook and held off for the longest time - although I concur with the distinct possibilities outlined above, for me personally, Facebook has been a real opportunity for ministry. It allows me numerous chances to encourage others in a Godly manner, and to stand up for God's character and promises when they are being trashed. Even if my comments are rejected by those reading them, if they cause just one person to stop and think, then it is a worthwhile exercise in my opinion.
ReplyDeletethanks for your discussion initiative Bruce, as always
Pam
Bruce,
ReplyDeleteThis is great advice. Fortunately, for me, I do not have the mental capacity (or the time) to “do Facebook”. Between home email and work email and blackberry messaging (how I keep in touch with my kids and my wife) I couldn’t and don’t want another time user (waster).
My French Canadian grandmother had a saying in French that loosely translated means: “Don’t ever write anything that you wouldn’t want the whole world to read”. She of course was referring to letters (as my kids would say, “What’s that?”) but it applies to all current methods of communication today. There is a tendency to think you are in this private little world that no one else has access to when you are texting. Not true as the story proves. Solution: don’t go there in the first place. Taking it out of the paramour context, once something is written you can’t take it back. On more than one occasion that has happened to me. Sadly, especially for our kids, this texting is taking the place of human interaction and spoken conversation but that’s a topic for another day.
Sensational advice Bruce. Thanks for sharing it. Michael
We have to be so careful in what we do on the internet. We must pay attention to the spirit for situations that may lead you on a slippery slope.
ReplyDeleteI have to say I agree and also disagree with this guys post. The enemy uses media for its advantage to keep people from focusing from God and keep people living in sin. As a christian, I must be careful that I do not get myself in a situation with an old flame, or any women in general on Facebook. God says in His word to turn our eyes and thoughts from what is ungodly. The enemy will attack you reguardless. I use Facebook to feed my family who don't beleive Jesus's cup of life. I beleive that God had enough with the enemy using media to distract people away from Him, and is using us for His purpose to gain control of media.Praise Jesus! Lets not be afraid to use the internet to honor and bring Him glory.Lets go for it! I say Facebook is just a tool to connect, but its who are you connecting with? I don't think it's right, just out of respect to my wife that I chat it up with other women from the past. Even if they are interested in Jesus. The devil will use this on us to snare you.
If you have a problem in this field of lust, then I really encourage you to stay away from Facebook or any other chat rooms. This is of course applies to married couples...:)
James Hall
Well, never to be left out of a good debate, I'll throw my two cents in here.
ReplyDeleteFacebook is as dangerous as you allow it to be. Yes, there are major privacy issues, but there are also ways to protect yourself. You can set your security to make yourself basically invisible - I've had trouble finding friends and relatives when I had all their personal info - so you can choose to be as social as you want. If someone wants to add you as a friend, you have to give permission. So if someone is adding some blast from the past, they are choosing to bring that into their lives. I personally have reconnected with some great old friends of the same sex and a man who's now a priest. Guess I'm safe there. lol At least with Facebook, everything is out in the open and it's hard to hide things from spouse/friends. I actually joined Facebook so I could keep up with what was going on in my kids' lives. I can see their friends, their experiences through photos and comments, and know their mental state as often as they share it. It's hard for them to hide what they are doing in their lives when their friends are posting things to their wall. We use it to encourage each other, keep in touch, and leave messages. Once when things were tense with one of them I had to tell one to take our dispute to a private medium. If anything I think the biggest danger in Facebook is that people share too much personal info with the world.
On the flip side of this coin, what is your opinion of email? I've personally found this a much more dangerous media due to the privacy it affords. You can connect with strangers, have inappropriate content sent directly to you, have private conversations with an old flame or whoever else without anyone ever knowing you have contact.
The point here is to use every medium responsibly. I like Facebook for the fact that in my busy life, it's a way for me to check in with people, keep up with what's going on in their lives, play games with them, share little details of my life and maintain relationships. I have my security set up and I refuse to add some people and have deleted others. Outside of Facebook, there are chat rooms, private messaging, games rooms, singles networks, and a thousand different ways to use the internet to make connections that are not healthy.
Bottom Line: Choose carefully and 'Net responsibly. Satan is a stealthy stalker... if you don't feel like you can be safe on Facebook or any other place, either in the physical world or the virtual world, PLEASE stay away from it. "If your eye causes you to sin..." It's better to be safe than sorry. If you do use any medium, use it in a Christian manner. It can also be used for good... like our email devotions and this blog. Good and Evil can come in the same packaging. :)
Lots of great comments here! Beth sums them up great. Facebook and other social media sites are like anything in the mass media: tools that can spread the Gospel or promote turning away from God. That being said, I personally find Facebook particularly annoying for all the little games and causes that are so easily promoted. In my own job, I've had to comment on more than one occasion on a "Facebook petition" calling for some ridiculous transit service -- like 24/7 operation of SkyTrain. But do I blame Facebook for the fact that 24,000 people have clicked on a particular link or a lazy reporter for thinking that's a newsworthy item? Perhaps, rather than bail out of it -- which has been my desire for a while -- we should start invading.
ReplyDeleteHi again ...
ReplyDeleteI think I'm about to answer my rhetorical question above. The particular issue I have with Facebook is its addictive nature. Because of all the games and features, there's a whole lotta time and effort spent accomplishing a whole lotta nothin'. A friend of mine at work told me yesterday she was astonished to discover someone she knew had been updating her status WHILE ON THE JOB. Do people REALLY think a Facebook petition has credibility, no matter how many people sign it or how ridiculous the cause? Do people REALLY think that sending someone a "little green plant" will fight global warming? As Christians looking to lead others to Christ, is this the way God intends us to do it? Use a mesmerizing medium to draw them in? I seriously doubt it: is that not like handing out joints to the Unsaved and then, once they're too stoned to think straight, leading them in the Sinner's Prayer? There are other social media sites that are far more useful in furthering the Kingdom: I'm grateful for my contact with Don through Twitter (twitter.com/drewdsnider), and I use that medium to sow seeds of the Gospel and occasionally promote something found online or a blog -- my own or someone else's, like this one.
I remember Kenneth Copeland talking about TV ministry a couple of years ago, and he said you could reject TV as an instrument of the devil, or you could embrace the medium and use it to promote the Gospel. I agree with the latter, and there are some social media -- as others have said here -- that can do that. But my general leeriness towards Facebook makes me think that that particular one is a wolf in sheep's clothing.
As for parents joining Facebook to "see who their kids are following", there's always the good old "no Facebook" order, with consequences attached (like no boiled cauliflower for a week). It beats trying to roll with a punch, only to find out you're boxing an octopus. Maybe the kids will sneak out and do it anyway -- as kids have done for generations -- but the fact that mom and dad actually took a stand might plant a seed of "right vs wrong" that will eventually bear fruit.
OK - I've just been convinced to bail out of the account. Thank you, Lord!
Drew, I very much respect and support your decision. For those like me who choose to stay on Facebook, let me make a couple of comments:
ReplyDeletePlease do not try to glorify Facebook as something it isn't - a way to reach people with the intent of converting them to your way of thinking, whatever that may be. It was never intended for that purpose and will never function well as that, so don't delude yourself or try to justify your use of it as that purpose. However it can be a great way to do a Prayer Chain or notify a large audience about an event. Please don't send garbage petitions to every one of your friends, because as Drew stated these are completely non-effective and annoying. And you know those postings saying what people have done in Farmville or whatever app? When you see a post like that and you mouse over the top right hand corner of the box, the word "Hide" will come up... find it and click it and it will ask you if you want to hide all notifications of that application in the future. Click YES! I have cut down the spam on my wall immensely since I have discovered that little word.
It certainly can be addicting and at least is distracting, like a tv. May we not let it come between us and our Godly focus.
Blessings for the weekend, everyone!
Beth
I find it interesting where these comments have gone. My original reason for this post was the problems that Facebook can cause in a relationship when "old flames" come into the picture. I was not addressing whether it could be an evangelism tool or a time waster, although it could be both. I know of several stories, some first-hand, some second, of someone from the past making contact with an individual causing either a little or a lot of problems. I suspect some of those who read the article have been, or are, in this situation. It would be interesting to have an anonymous post from one or two of these folks.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend,
Bruce